#SOL17 Twinkie Fruit Cake

Lately, Iowa is not quite sure if we are in spring or in winter. In a week I went from running outside with shorts and a light jacket on, to building a snowman in my backyard with 10 inches of freshly fallen snow.

The ground is half frozen snow and half squishy mud. When I let my dog out last night, he ignored the snow and went straight for the mud. He long white legs covered in thick mad mud. As he trotted into the house his paw prints looks as if he was stamping the ground with black ink.

Maybe one of these days I will get a carpet cleaner machine that will clean up after my monstrous pet dog, but until then it is a bucket of warm soapy water and a rag.

While scrubbing the mud off my beige carpet, I think about the soil itself. The soil was once kissed by a glacier, this kiss supplied the soil with rich nutrients. The soil provides a plentiful garden behind my house and yields corn and soy beans that allow a small farm economy to exist.

I live in an area where it is so easy to grow food, so tell me… Why is it so hard to have a decent grocery store?

If you ever have lived in a small town you know the struggle of a small town grocery store. There are few options that can cost you an arm and a leg. I am grateful to have a grocery store, given the fact many small town around me only have a gas station, but I will not and cannot shop at our local store while trying to stay on a budget.

The last few months I have been using Hyvee Aisles. It is a service the grocery store Hyvee offers where I can pick out what I want for groceries online and they will gather the groceries and deliver them to my husband as he drives by the store.

I quickly text my husband to remind him to pick up the groceries and I get a little giddy. There is joy in having fresh groceries.

It was not long until I heard his car pull into our drive way. He walks up the stairs and through the gray Hyvee bag I see it…Two giant boxes of twinkies.

Instantly my heart drops… Did they give my husband the wrong groceries?

His face is just as confused as mine. Two weeks ago we just had the discussion about how much we disliked the pus-filled garbage sponge cakes.

My mind drifts back two weeks and we find ourselves at our local bar. Every Monday night since August we have attended a weekly bible study, Bibles and Brews.A few weeks ago Sam and I told the story of how we got to know each other.

A group of his friends decided to visit every church in the small town were we all went to college. Of all the churches we attended, Sam and I never ever hit a potluck. The only time that the group hit a church that served food was the one time Sam and I couldn’t go.

This church service served twinkies. Do not ask me  how this was worked into the service, because I have no earthly idea.

The pastor leading the bible study, thought this was hilarious and worked this into his church sermon.This then trickled back to our bible study.

Upon the discovery that nobody in the group liked twinkies, I was sent home with three boxes of twinkies: original, strawberry, and banana. Since high schoolers are human garbage disposals, I decided to give them out to seniors.

I put the twinkies in a basket, and within two passing periods they were gone. The seniors were pleasant and kind. I am not sure if it satisfied their hunger or the chemicals in the death cakes suppressed their teen angst.

This morning I have the tasks of getting rid of these abominations. I put an announcement out that the first 20 students to write a review on Goodreads and show me will get a prize. It is only 2nd hour and I already have 8 winners. I am not sure if they will eat the twinkies or save the twinkies for when the apocalypse happens. Either way, I will get rid of them.